ghosts
by Mixora
Summary: AU. Kaiku. Some angst.


**against the world**

**disclaimer: own nothing.**

**a/n: wow, this is complicated. this goes along with a video i made, ghosts...go to my page on youtube, namixas, to see it. i may put the link in here later. in this universe, sora doesn't exist. or he was kidnapped at the age of one or something. or i've written him out of the story and we're now sitting around at my house talking and eating chinese takeout. take your pick. song lyrics are from ghosts, the same song i used for the video. btw sorry for changing tenses so much.**

_**it's me and you boy, against the world now--**_

She was tough.

She had survived so many things. Sometimes she wondered what it would be like if it was different.

Sometimes she wondered how they got to be this way.

Adventure-seekers, they were, and still are, by matter of necessity. Back then it was fun; now it is a job. They like to call themselves adventurers but others call them mercenaries; this is true, she reflects, in a manner. Even after all these years, though, she still doesn't like killing. She hates that.

She is weak, she decides. But no; a weak person could not have survived the tortures she went through. A weak person could not have been broken again and again, had their friends die constantly and even have a hand in some of their deaths, however unwilling, and still survive.

He was her weakness, though. She'd had a crush on him when they were kids, you know. But that didn't matter much now. This wasn't the time for silly romances; she doubted it would ever be. But she rather liked what they had. It wasn't passionate, it wasn't love, but it wasn't friendship either. Dependability. Affection. Rarely shown, but there.

She wondered also if she was his weakness. Probably. He had killed and conspired and stolen and yet he stuck by her, could never betray her. She thought vaguely that he probably loved her. But not in that way, exactly.

Because this wasn't the time.

They weren't exactly fighting a war, but there was a war being fought, and they were part of it. They had been swept up in it from the moment they stepped through that portal, the moment they left their home. They hadn't meant for this to happen, hadn't meant to become what they were. Cold. Cruel. As bad as the Heartless they sometimes fought against.

He used to have a Keyblade, you know. He lost it. She didn't think that was supposed to happen, it would always return, but the day he rescued her from torture, the day he took one innocent life, he lost it. Now he has to buy weapons for both of them.

_His heart is no longer pure._

Or maybe this is the time, the time for something between her and Riku, before their hearts grow too dark to love.

She shivers at the thought.

_**i met a man named hate, i met a lady named malice--**_

He was weaker than he'd ever let anybody know.

He had two weaknesses, home...and _her._ The truth was, he would have given anything, _anything_ (except maybe her) up to see those islands again, to feel the warm breeze and sleep on the sand in the shade of the palm trees. He would give his life just as long as he could hear those waves one last time. One...last...time...

And as for her he would give anything, although he thinks he already has. He has given his home, although that meant nothing to him at the time. He has given his friends and his innocence and spilled his blood, but he still feels like that is not enough.

He hates that he got her into this mess. She used to be so innocent and pure. Now she doesn't blink at the thought of breaking into things, plots for killing. What has he done to her? What would he do, what can he do to put her back the way she was?  
But he still loves her, in this odd way. He needs her. He needs her so badly he is positive he would die without her. But this is not the time for something like that, they are in a war, even if sometimes he is not sure who is worse, them or the other side.

They are mercenaries of a sort. Fight and kill for food and lodging and gold and weapons. Simple enough. But it makes an endless cycle, something he doubts they'll ever get out of. They'll die young, he is sure of it. It's a miracle they've made it this long.

He knows they could die any day. He no longer likes the thrill; he no longer likes anything. He is numb. She is the only thing that could ever make him alive again.

Maybe this really is the time. Maybe he could live again, just maybe, and they could get out of this horrible hole they're digging themselves into, deeper, deeper.

He takes a breath. "Kairi?"

_**so boy don't ever leave me--**_

_**--&fin-**_


End file.
